The Rules as Dictated by the Baby
1) If I am not sleeping, then I must be in constant motion.
2) If I am sleeping, I prefer that you either carry me or place me in the swing. This way I will be in constant motion.
3) I love the changing table. This is not actually a rule. I just wanted to mention that I love the changing table.
4) Don’t even think about trying to eat. I might only be three weeks old, but I already know what the microwave sounds like. If I hear it, I’ll insist you pay attention to me immediately.
5) The same goes for watching TV, spending time with each other, going to the bathroom, or anything else that you enjoyed from your life before me.
6) From now on, you’ll need to do everything with only one arm. It amuses me.
7) I must insist on your individual undivided attention.
8) Don’t kiss each other or show any affection towards each other. You really don’t have the time.
9) Have I mentioned how incredible the changing table is??!
10) I have the power to create rules on the fly. Be ready.
Signed,
the little dictator
