Today’s Plans
Three words: Luby’s All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. (OK, so six words with hyphenation.)
Two words: Full. Sleepy.
One word: Couch.
Three words: Luby’s All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. (OK, so six words with hyphenation.)
Two words: Full. Sleepy.
One word: Couch.
In my dreaming I know I’ve scribbled something important in the middle of the paper — is it legible? I’ll know when I awake.
My mind is drifting and befuddled. It has been raining. There is mud. I’ll have to swim through these big puddles. Long before I awake.
Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: Ducks have flat feet from stamping out forest fires!
Q: Do you know why elephants have flat feet?
A: From stamping out burning ducks!
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Q: What is green and has wheels?
A: Grass! (I lied about the wheels!)
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Q: What goes “clomp clomp clomp squish clomp clomp clomp squish”?
A: An elephant with one wet tennis shoe.
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Q: What goes “clomp clomp clomp clomp stamp stamp stamp clomp clomp clomp clomp”?
A: An elephant putting out burning ducks.
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Q: What goes “clop clop clop clop blam blam clop clop clop clop”?
A: An Amish driveby shooting.
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Q: Where do you find a no-legged dog?
A: Right where you left him.
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Q: Why did the chicken crawl across the road and then crawl back again?
A: Because he was a low down, double crossin’ chicken, that’s why.
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Q: How do you get an elephant into a Volkswagen bug?
A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door
Q: What’s more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug
Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator?
A: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the refrigerator, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator
Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
A: Rather optimistic!
Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen bug?
A: Put 2 in the front and 2 in the back
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
A: It’s bike is outside.
Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?
A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in your refrigerator?
A: There are footprints in the butter
Q: How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your refrigerator?
A: Two sets of footprints in the butter
Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your refrigerator?
A: You can’t get the refrigerator door closed
Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your refrigerator?
A: There’s an empty VW bug parked in your driveway.
Q: How do you get 8 elephants in a refrigerator?
A: Put four in a VW, four in another VW, put the two VW bugs in the refrigerator. Obviously, if your refrigerator is large enough to hold four elephants, it can surely hold two Volkswagen bugs.
Q: How do you get Tarzan into the refrigerator?
A: Open door, take the two VW bugs out, put Tarzan in, close door
Q: How do you know Tarzan is really in your refrigerator?
A: You can hear him scream.
Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the refrigerator?
A: You can’t. There is only one Tarzan.
Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: Although it is large, your refrigerator isn’t big enough to hold them all.
Q: How many elephants can you actually put in your refrigerator?
A: Depends on the number of elephants.
Q: How do you get a 5th elephant into a Volkswagen bug?
A: Open the door and put him in the glove compartment.
Q: The Lion (Animal king) gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?
A: They were stuck in the VW bug.
Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a VW bug?
A: One. The glove compartment in the second VW bug is still free.
I happened to run across this link earlier when looking through my personal archives: Paradox of Predestination. It is an interesting article comparing a number of Christian perspectives.
My heart is burdened today. I have not slept for quite awhile. The thoughts in my head will not cease. My heart hurts.
This has been a recurring problem for the last few months. There is much in my life that I would happily have changed if I were in control, but I have left my trust in others and in God. The result has been a mixture of sorrow, love, hurt, trust, confusion, joy, guilt, and disappointment.
I arose this morning from a sleepless night with the words of Ecclesiastes 3 in my mind. They have been with me for most of the day.
I have had more time for weeping, mourning, and silence than I would like. That is the season in my life at the moment.
God has been gracious to me. He has listened to my pleadings, my joys, my complaints, and my desires. He has answered me, but not in ways that I have wanted, expected, or understood. He continues to point me in directions that look blocked to me. He sees things that I cannot, so I follow. But I simply need sleep before I can go another step.
May God grant me rest for my weary soul.
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven–
A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils?
I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.
He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.
I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor–it is the gift of God.
I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. That which is has been already and that which will be has already been, for God seeks what has passed by.
Furthermore, I have seen under the sun that in the place of justice there is wickedness and in the place of righteousness there is wickedness.
I said to myself, “God will judge both the righteous man and the wicked man,” for a time for every matter and for every deed is there.
I said to myself concerning the sons of men, “God has surely tested them in order for them to see that they are but beasts.”
For the fate of the sons of men and the fate of beasts is the same. As one dies so dies the other; indeed, they all have the same breath and there is no advantage for man over beast, for all is vanity.
All go to the same place. All came from the dust and all return to the dust.
Who knows that the breath of man ascends upward and the breath of the beast descends downward to the earth?I have seen that nothing is better than that man should be happy in his activities, for that is his lot. For who will bring him to see what will occur after him?
I heard a brief story today that I thought was worthy of Peachwater, Tx. It happened in real life too. Maybe not quite as I’m telling it. Some facts may have been changed unintentionally.
A landlord is going by to check on the tenants of her rent house. As she drives up to the house, she notices that the renter’s truck is on fire in the yard.
She races to the front door of the house. She knocks loudly.
“Your truck is on fire!” she yells as the renter opens the door.
The truck is now fully engulfed. The fire has also leapt from the truck to the roofline of the house.
The renter yells, “Thanks!” as he hops into his other truck and quickly drives away.
The landlord thinks, “How odd!” as she calls 911 on her cell to report the fire.
Firefighters arrive. They extinguish the burning truck and the charred portion of the roof.
Upon investigating, police find a rather significant numbers of marijuana plants growing throughout the house. Thus explaining the reason the renter was last seen quickly driving away.
I’ve added new site over on the right under “Links” — The Coolman Family website.
The Coolman family consists of Kristen, James, and Christopher. Kristen is a dear old friend of mine. James is Kristen’s husband and Christopher is their son. The site is in development at the moment as Kristen tackles the mysteries of HTML. Check out Kristen’s portfolio. She is a wonderful artist.
Kristen was kind enough to give Peachwater, Tx. a link on her site. So I thought I’d reciprocate. She also had said in an e-mail “you’re more than welcome to add my website to your links” which I took as the rather overt hint that it is.
I didn’t realize until late this evening that today was Flag Day. Oddly enough, I posted a photo of a flag to my photography site this very morning. ooo… spooky, huh?
I need to stop drifting off during the evening news. I think random information seeps into my subconscious mind as I doze.